my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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