i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
