Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
