Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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