Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Houston, we have a blender
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize