i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is wine microwaveable?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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