i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
