I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I want is dick and wine.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
