So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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