cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
