it was like his penis was on wheels.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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