i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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