She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
