I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
