i just had sex bonerless
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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