After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
