i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
