U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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