How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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