there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
smell my finger.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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