Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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