we're blogging at a bar
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
