how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
