I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
