Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
