GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize