You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
