Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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