Quick, to the slutcave!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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