I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
