is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
