we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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