i think i have herpe
just one?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
