i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
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