Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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