Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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