You made me cry and you don't even care
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
