Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
