My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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