Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
