No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
