would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
