You don't have asthma, your pregnant
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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