No awkward lesbian experiences without me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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