Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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