HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
