If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I see more hoeing in ur future
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