You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
