that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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