I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
why do cheetos always look like penises
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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