He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
