she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
