Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
