I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize