woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
