Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
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