also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
