i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
