All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
