sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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