Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
