I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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