I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
