oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
