what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize