Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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