Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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