Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
