Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
